As I mentioned in the previous post, we have a professional development review (PDR) with our line manager each year. And this year, I was apprehensive.
Periodically, the University does a survey of its entire staff. The results are not only published as a whole, but also School by School. We therefore knew where things are not going well in our School, and we know that separately for academic staff and support staff. It is really interesting to see the differences! It looks like the jobs are really different. I'm not surprised about that.
After the results were published, our diversity and equality officer had sent us all a questionnaire. She mainly wanted to know more about where things go wrong. What exactly is it that is going wrong? Is anyone listening if you speak out? That sort of things. She really wanted to make sure that although work in the School can never be perfect, at least it would be as good as it can be, and that no one feels they have issues they can't discuss with their managers.
I answered that questionnaire. And it made me think about the things that aren't going very well, obviously. And I struggle with the gender balance of the school, and with the perception I have that females are taken less seriously. And it also made me think about the fieldwork module in which I really have to fight to be heard. And I think the students see that! And I think that has an influence. If the male staff don't treat females as equals, why would the students? And then you get situations where students will questions grades you give them without good reason, or blame you when something goes wrong, or things like that. Which are the parts of the job that I find frustrating and exhausting.
I had just done a day in the field where again I felt like I had two options: either be downright aggressive, or be completely snowed under by my male colleagues. And that is not a choice I enjoy. So when I was getting ready for my PDR, gender issues were at the forefront of my mind. And I decided I was going to bring it up. I hadn't done that before. If you stick your head out above the parapet mentioning issues like this, the response is often negative. But I decided that I should just speak out anyway. If I don't tell my line manager I feel the struggle for female representation as a burden, then he can't act on it.
It was pretty much the first thing to come up. And John was listening. I think I've managed to communicate where I think the problem lies. And Dei was supportive too. He also was very embarrassed! After all, the example I used to illustrate the problem was the field trip module that he leads. And he is one of the people I always have to defend myself against. And he is aware of the problem, and he clearly doesn't intend to be part of it, but as soon as he sees a rock he wants to tell the students about it. And doesn't think about anything else. So if it happens to be my job to talk about that rock, then too bad, he will start talking anyway. And I bring it up with him in person on a regular basis, but I think that now it has been discussed in a PDR, it has reached the forefront of his mind a bit more. He might be a bit more considerate the next time.
I also mentioned that when it comes to my suspicion that this sort of behaviour gives the students the impression that women are just less important, and that therefore you can just try to steamroll straight over them if you want to, I only have anecdotal evidence, and I can't prove anything. But I did mention that one thing I can prove is that this school is haemorrhaging women on the way to the top. We are in the process of losing one right now. I think we have lost seven women who were generally in the lecturer stage since I got to work here, and the only man who wasn't yet a professor who left was dragged along by his irate wife. The only other men who have left were already full professors. They clearly didn't have the idea that our School was not a place where they could reach the top. And this time, the men acknowledged that this was indeed an issue.
Apart from this particular field trip module I am not sure if anything is going to happen. But at least I have raised the issue! I was a bit nervous doing that; remember the previous time I raised gender issues to an all-male audience. The only thing I achieved then was that I united them against a common enemy, and that I got bullied. Not ideal! And of course, at work the idea is that people can't do that; the University has policies against that sort of thing. But it remains scary to raise your voice in an environment that you experience as not very woman-friendly. I'm glad I did it anyway. And I hope this will be a tiny little step in the right direction!
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