I couldn’t get my mum on the phone. That had happened before. But this time, I then got a message from from my aunt Jose to say she had tried to visit, with an actual appointment, but that she found my mum unwell in bed. She didn’t want any fuss, or anything really, and my aunt had to leave.
I was wondering whether earlier failed attempts to phone my mum had reflected a similar situation. Would she have felt rubbish and been in bed? Unable to walk to the phone? It would have been a fairly regular occurrence then. But she would never tell me.
At that initial visit, my aunt did what she could and then left. But she came back. And rallied my other aunt Len. Jose is 90 and lives on the other side of the country; Len is the youngest of the (originally 9) siblings and lives in the same town as my mum. Unsurprisingly, as it is their home town.
My mum was just about able to go to the loo, but that was it. So she needed help. And my aunts provided it. And my mum showed no sign of perking up again, and being able to make herself a sandwich, let alone going out to buy sandwich ingredients. Or even go to the door to accept a delivery. Not that she wanted anything to eat.
If you are 86, only lie in bed, and don’t eat, you get weak. It might finish you off. So I spoke with the aunts, and decided to book a flight and come over. Was that convenient with work? No, of course not. My week was chock full of its usual teaching, plus teaching that had had to be moved from my period of jury service. But I only have one mum! And she needed help. So I sent a message to my line manager, sent announcements to all students it affected, and to the people who were on the modules with me. And then I was ready to go. I wanted to see my mum!






