In the Netherlands: my dad and sister

My dad was diagnosed with vascular dementia two years ago. And a condition like that can do a lot of destructive work in two years. He was still quite good during the family reunion in May; he needed his walker to get around, and had an afternoon nap, but otherwise he was pretty much fine. His handwriting is bad now, and he struggles with the practicalities of life, but he still had a perfectly mainstream perception of the world. 

When I was in the Netherlands I wanted to see him, and suggested to my sister we go together. She was up for that. And so was my dad. 

We agreed to meet at his place, have a coffee, and then whisk him off for a walk and lunch. I arrived first; Petra was a bit delayed, so we started with a coffee with the three of us. And I got a bit of an idea of what my dad’s situation was. And he is now living in a world of augmented reality. He still perceives the world we perceive too, but his head adds features. He sees, hears and feels things nobody else can detect. And nothing seems threatening, but  I could imagine this is a bellwether for worse things. And these perceptions keep him awake at night, or wake him up, and when he then interacts with them he wakes his wife up. She was starting to feel the lack of sleep. 

My sister knows all this, of course. She sees him more often. And when she appeared, we had another coffee (with cake!) and then we all left. Joke went swimming. 

We went to Staverden Estate, not far away. I hadn’t heard of it. It was lovely! And it had an interesting history. It had been founded in the deep Middle Ages, had acquired city rights, and had been a holiday venue where my father had been several times as a boy. 

We started with a walk. The estate had beautiful grounds! And my dad skilfully negotiated any tree roots or other obstacles with his walker. And the weather was gorgeous.

Not the best possible picture but it will do

When we had done the walk, my dad was ready to sit down for lunch, though. And we could sit outside. It's a rather glamorous place! And the food was good.

When we were done my dad was tired and we went home. We had a last cup of tea and then my sister and I left, so my dad could have a nap. 

I had the rest of the day with my sister and her family. It was a full house! You never know how many people are living there, with student kids boomeranging between (temporary) student accommodation their childhood home, and suchlike, but everyone was there at least part of the time. Except the cat; she had died earlier in summer.

We drank tea and made dinner and caught up. I heard what the current state was of the education of all the (adult) kids, and I heard some holiday stories, and talked a bit with my sister how she sees her future. We also did a nice walk on the moor. And I did a book exchange with her; she had given me a book by AS Byatt, and she had read a different one herself, and she wanted to talk with someone about that book, and read more Byatt, so I had brought mine and exchanged it for hers. I figured that the book I had brought for the train would get finished, potentially even before I would get on the Eurostar back.

Of course I was sad that there was no cat. But when we had been sitting outside in the garden in the evening, a hedgehog had trundled past…

Then it was time to go to bed. I could sleep in David's room; he went back to this student digs in Amsterdam. And the next morning my sister had to get to work quite early, so I had breakfast with Aernoud, and then I went back to Amersfoort. I was lucky to have seen everyone! I hope they will all be well in this new academic year…