I am on a roll! Only a short while ago, I blogged that I had finished my second book of the year. And we're not out of February yet and I have already finished the next one. This one was given to me by my sister. It is in Dutch; I hadn't read a Dutch book in a long time.
The title translates to something along the lines of ‘love scared’. It is basically about the twin problems of being scared to commit, and scared to be abandoned. If you have one of these issues, the book argues you are very likely to perennially seek out people who have the opposite issue. And then some doomed dance begins that is going to inevitably end up in heartbreak. Why did my sister think I needed this book? I'll leave that to your imagination.
So what does the book do? The book explains why the author thinks people end up like that. She places everything in your youth, in the relationship with your parents. And her message basically is: if you struggled to build a healthy, loving relationship with your parents, that hurts, and you will keep running away from that hurt until you deal with it. So she basically says: give in to it, and then everything will be fine. Am I simplifying this? Yes, of course. But I think that summarising this book in a few sentences, this is what it boils down to.
Is this a panacea? I don't think so. Is it helpful? I do think so. We'll see! Next time I get into a situation where this is relevant I will certainly keep it in mind. And who knows; maybe it will make a difference!
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