The situation with my mum

I found my mum pretty much how I had left her. Frail and in bed, but not worse than last time. And there was an aunt there waiting for me. 

I was so glad to be back! I had been very worried. But I hoped I could stop worrying after the geriatrician had been. I settled back into my routine of making cups of tea and sandwiches for my mum. And making notes for her that said what would be happening when, because if you told her she would forget. 

The first external thing to happen was the heating engineer coming by. The heating and hot water weren’t working, which isn’t ideal in November. He sorted that swiftly. But the big thing would be the geriatrician. 

He came the next morning at 10. A nice chap. He sat down with my mother and me and took his time to ask a bucket-load of questions. About how she had ended up in bed, what the situation had been like beforehand, how managing a household had been going, what she did all day, what she consumed, how her memory was and her social life; all sorts. He spoke of euthanasia and its criteria; he said she didn’t qualify, which was a big disappointment. He also wanted to see her shuffle to the loo (only to the door). 

When he was done he said he would need to think about the situation, and discuss with a colleague. He would phone back in the afternoon. 

He phoned back, but only to say he hadn’t heard back from the people he needed to hear back from, and would phone again later. I decided to go for my run as otherwise I wouldn’t go at all. Of course he phoned me then. 

He said he figured my mum was too good for a care home. He figured she was fine om her own! She could, after all, still shuffle to the loo. If home care would come a few times a day they could bring her tea and food. All sorted! 

I was very disappointed. I didn’t feel it was safe to just leave her there. Every time she got out of bed she was at risk of falling and hurting herself! And if there is only home care, it could be hours before anyone would notice. Yes she could have an alarm button, but would she bring that with her to the loo? Would she remember what it was? 

We can’t force anyone to put her in a care home. Or to provide her with the desired euthanasia. So we will have to make do with this. To a certain extent! We can seek external advice and second opinions and suchlike. But now it was weekend and not much would be happening. Back to serving tea! And making a plan of action for the Monday…