26 July 2022

A will

I own a house. Or rather, I am in the process of buying off a mortgage on the house. So I own a partial house. And that is great! But what if I get run over by a bus or something? As far as I know, it is my close relatives who would then automatically be the ones who need to deal with that were I to suddenly die intestate. And I did not want that to happen.

As things stand, I have two sets of close relatives; the first ones are my parents. I know I am very likely to survive them, and I hope I indeed to do, but you don't write a will without thinking of unlikely but possible events. And I wouldn't want my parents to have to deal with this. I think they would find it a burden rather than a nice surprise in otherwise unpleasant circumstances. And I wouldn't want them to have to do anything together; if you put them in one room they will politely enquire after the other person’s wellbeing, but that doesn't mean they are a good team.

My other close relatives are my sisters. These are really not on good terms! I wouldn't want them to have to deal with anything together. And of course they could find a way of avoiding it, but I think it is my task to do that. And I am sure they could think of something useful to do with the house, but they both already have one, and have such fine careers they could probably buy another one if they so wanted, so they are not particularly plausible beneficiaries either.

Then I have a friend who was there for me when literally nobody else was. She took me under her wing when I was 17. Since then, however, my life has been largely getting better, and I got me an education to PhD level, massively improved mental health, and a steady job. And a house! She was not so lucky, so if either of us now has the other one under their wing, you could argue it is the other way around. And she is a clever administrator who wouldn't struggle very much with the paperwork involved in inheriting a house. So I asked her if she wanted to be executor and beneficiary! And she was. And that meant I could write the actual will. And with the house out of the way, I could then deal with my sisters separately. I optimistically assume there will be something left in my bank account!

I found a random lawfirm who does wills, and had a phone conversation with them. They then sent me the will resulting from that conversation. And I like that a will seems to have a plan B incorporated; it also specifies what happens if by some strange coincidence, my beneficiary dies at the same time as I do. And all I needed to do was to sign it together with the witnesses and send it back to them! And, of course, tell the people involved where my will is held.

I hadn't quite realised the writer of the will and the two witnesses have to all sign it in one go. I had asked Kate and Martin, and they know each other a bit, but they don't socially hang out. But there's no reason why they shouldn't! So they accepted my suggestion I would cook a meal for both of them, and then we could all three sign the document. It was really nice! We could sit in the garden.

I know I didn't sort this out very quickly after having bought the house 4 1/2 years ago. It was weighing on my mind a bit! I know I have a life expectancy of several more decades, but that is not a guarantee on anything. And if I know suddenly find myself vanishing under the wheels of a bus, at least I can die knowing I am not causing my relatives unnecessary unpleasantness, there is a volunteer for dealing with the house, and my friend won't have me anymore but she will have a very tangible reminder of the important role she played in my life. And a house, which provides options. I was glad to get that off my to do list!



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